Real worth.
I have often thought my real worth would show up after I worked hard in my career, relationships, religions, and thus, proving I was worthy. I would even do nice things for people. Which, in and of itself is a fine thing to do. However, since my intention behind my good act was selfishness then […]
There is always a next one.
I have noted my past use of different personas. The innocent child even though I was usually guilty when I exclaimed my innocence. The junior high and high school sportsman even though I also loved acting and singing. The college drinker even though I hated the hangovers. The cowboy then and the biker, each lasting […]
Actions over words.
I used to preach a lot about the amazing changes I had made through my religious beliefs and how others needed to do the same or they would suffer eternally. Childish words from a child. As I have grown along this journey, I have discovered that my thoughts and words were simply trying to make […]
It’s always there.
Progress is always there. Whether I am progressing towards growth, backsliding, or stagnation, the progress is always there. Those who choose to maintain conscious awareness of their spiritual existence are always progressing toward a deeper understanding. Those who choose to maintain conscious awareness of the turmoil and destruction they will continue to progress further into […]
Judgement.
As I judge so I am judged. I am seeing only a reflection of myself when I am judging others. I have no idea what their experiences have been therefore I have no idea why they are acting and reacting to life in their unique ways. As I have grown through this journey of joy […]
Maturity.
I have had many different concepts of what it is to be mature. Some were detrimental to my mental, spiritual, emotional and physical wellbeing. My most damaging was when I shut off the emotions and decided that a real man could be mature enough to not feel anything and be supportive and strong for his […]
Checking on myself.
In almost every experience I had a habit of checking to make sure others were doing life the “right” way. When I was religious, brother, son, uncle, nephew, student, and in any sport, I played I would silently critique others and judge how they were doing it wrong. I would exhaust myself with constant judgement […]
Spiritual awakening or hallucination?
Spiritual awakening or hallucination? I am reminded today how many people try to dismiss my past spiritual awakenings and experiences as hallucinations. Bill Wilson had the same conversations and gave a wonderful explanation of the differences. The hallucinations will not create a deep change within the persons reactions to life. Spiritual awakenings will create a […]
When anxiety arrives.
I have noted an increase in my anxiety as of late. It is attributed my thought process around my book being published and how well it will do for others as well as myself. It is easy for me to say that everything works out exactly as it should when life is quiet and easy. […]
Persistence.
This is one of the main ingredients of a happy, joyful, and serene life. When I first started out to gain spiritual awakenings, I expected one over whelming and instant connection to God and from then on, my life would be peaceful and happy. Well, that did not happen. At the beginning of my recovery, […]
