I am reminded this morning how a few good characteristics does not make me perfect.
I had taught myself how to look good in some areas of my life so I could participate in other behaviors which were not for my greatest good.
I realize many of us did this as children. We were simply discovering what we preferred and what we didn’t.
I took this into my adulthood and used it to try and live a double life.
That of the good guy and that of the cheating drunk.
Even after I got sober, I was great as a dad, coach, counselor, church goer and every other part of my life. However, I would still have affairs.
I legitimately felt horrible each time, yet I would eventually do it again.
When I finally admitted my secrets, we attempted to go through therapy and reconcile yet I had just lost her trust, and we divorced.
In living out my secrets, I hurt my ex-wife, my kids, my family, my ex-in-laws, and many of my friends.
They were confused about how such a great guy could cheat on his spouse.
I was living in the shame cycle, during which I needed to make myself feel better by being good at everything else.
Today I have no shame, and I choose to live in the self-esteem cycle.
I am an amazing creation, and I hold appreciation for this opportunity to live out my life in happiness, joy, and freedom.
may each of you allow yourself the gift of living in happiness, joy, and freedom.
You are Love and Loved
