I have needed to unlearn the belief that I was born bad, and the belief I had fallen short.
During this journey, I have discovered how the game of guilt and shame is a trap.
It may have been intentioned get me to feel so bad that I would begin to obey some doctrine so I would behave but I turned it into a cycle of self-defeat.
In my recovery I have discovered how forgiveness is the destroyer of the self-defeating cycles.
After my first experience with the 5th step is when I first felt true forgiveness.
I remember feeling completely free and I felt like I was floating.
I had become willing to be forgiven and to be forgiving.
I had started a long journey of self-discovery, unlearning, and becoming honest.
I ebbed and flowed in this process, and I caused harm to myself and others, yet I remained willing to learn.
Today I no longer respond to life in a manner that causes harm to myself or others.
Today I remain willing to learn how to be the best version of myself and that include forgiveness.
May each of you allow yourself the gift of giving and receiving forgiveness.
You are Loved.
